The Brunswick Green, Sydney Road

 
I’ve been so lazy this morning. Saturdays have become sloth days for me, which is fantastic. It’s a total change of pace from the rest of the week.

Had dinner with Mr S.T. last night at a nice Japanese restaurant in Armadale. He had heard good things about this place, and I am always in the mood for sushi (well, vegetarian nori rolls, really). I really enjoyed my meal, especially the custard and cantaloupe dessert at the end.

We headed to the Rivoli in Camberwell afterward to see In Good Company. I had no desire to see it until recently because the previews looked so ick, but I changed my mind after Simone reviewed it on the 3RRR Breakfasters show this week.

I really, really enjoyed it, and so did Mr S.T., and Simone was right about the fact that it’s been branded as a romantic comedy but is something completely different. Mr S.T. and I both identified with parts of Topher Grace’s character, which was interesting because he looks like such a schmo in the trailer. It’s always nice when a movie exceeds your expectations.

My only gripe was that Scarlett Johansson’s foundation was caked on and quite distracting, which is a shame because she’s a lovely girl.

We talked and talked, and somehow it got very late. Neither of us said a thing about where we stand or what’s going to happen until we got into a discussion about movies.

It turns out we have a lot of the same favourite movies — especially old, cultish ones — but it hadn’t come up until now because he couldn’t think of any titles when asked to list his favourites previously. I know it sounds so trivial, but I’d been working hard on putting him in this safe little pigeonhole — we don’t have that much in common, it wouldn’t work out anyway, etc. The movie thing made me realise we can tell ourselves anything we want to keep from getting close and getting hurt. How messed up.

It started the ball rolling to talk about other things, which was really good. It’s a bit sad, though: a good one is getting away and I don’t know how to feel about it.

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I got a letter (the letter) from immigration this week, which means I’ve got to get organised and start planning for the next stage of the process. I wasn’t anticipating it until much later, so the range of emotions I’ve gone through (albeit on a small scale) has been a bit surprising. Overall I feel positive, though, and am not worried… yet.

happy feet: today at Beacon Cove, Port Melbourne

 
At the dinner party on Wednesday night, Mr S.T. told me he’s planning to move back to NSW permanently. Cue gut wrench.

He said he’s 90% sure but could be swayed if he gets a decent job here, which he’s been unable to do in the past month. Then I found out the next day that he got a job interview.

I’d love to think he might get the job, but really, it doesn’t matter because — as I told him last night — he’s a ticking time bomb. Even if he stays, he could still decide to go at any time. I think his heart is there.

Is it better to have him go now or go later? Not sure. And both of us have done this so many times before - the whole love-’em-and-leave-’em-because-you’re-moving-to-another-town schtick. I could handle it with First Boyfriend Joe and with Mr Honey (and a few other examples), but I don’t know that I’m young enough to put up with it now. Especially that someone else is doing it to me and not vice versa.

So the gist of the conversation on Wed. night was that we shouldn’t see each other, but we want to. Got it? Good - now explain it to me.

 

me and my shadow

 
I am listening to Yo La Tengo’s And then nothing turned itself inside-out right now, and it is making me so happy. All those fuzzy KCOU memories coming back. Why I didn’t buy this back then I don’t know, but I’m loving it now and have been using it as my wake-up call in my CD alarm clock.

 

a third Port Melbourne pic from today, thrown in for good measure

 
Had a fantastic day today, with a shopping excursion in the CBD while Bernard got a mini tune-up. My apartment is now pillow central. My favourite pillow is the same colour as the intended paint for my walls, yet instead of “boa”, they called it “goblin blue”. Ha ha ha.

After picking up Bernard, I headed straight for the nearby Port Melbourne beach. I ate lunch at Urban Burger (without the bun, natch, but still delicious), gelati at that new Gelato Joe’s place (homemade and fantastic) and then headed to the beach for a leisurely read of the latest Lucky magazine from the U.S. Delightful.

Now I have to get ready for some social drinks with workmates. Should be fun and interesting.

my favourite sculpture, Eagle by Bruce Armstrong, or “birdy” as I like to call him
(I took this photo while in traffic on Wurundjeri Way, so forgive the composition)

 
Things with new boy (aka Mr S.T. from here on) were going great, and we’re up to date #5 for anyone who’s counting. But then he left to visit the folks and their beach house (!) for a week or so, which has killed the momentum but not the interest. A lot of things have been put into perspective since we started dating, though, and in some twisted way, I’d venture to say Mr Honey did me a favour.

The job is going well, but the hours are a bit longer than I’m used to. It’s a good challenge, though, and I’m enjoying it. There was a small incident last week, and I was able to make the situation better by taking a particular staff member aside and telling them about my crappy 2004. “But you seem so well adjusted!” was my favourite comment. And I feel it.
 

I can’t believe they used the word “poo” on official council signage

 
Health is pretty good, and I’ve been walking a lot, although I could use a bit more sleep.
Hair is crazy colours (thanks to another hair show) but looks awesome.
Still on the skinny side but am advancing toward my normal weight (whole milk - ewwwww).

Have spent a small fortune lately at Polyester, replacing CDs that I once had but are now gone. It feels really good to reclaim them. And I suppose that’s the true sign of a CD’s greatness if you’re willing to purchase it twice, right?

I’ve also gotten a few new CDs, including Sam Prekop’s Who’s Your New Professor, which has been in constant rotation. It’s not as immediate as his first but is still very, very good and addictive. Oh, that voice.

Have had some fabulous meals lately, but my favourite was at the Moroccan Soup Bar with Morgs. Even better than I remembered, if that’s possible.

Have also been really enjoying the new setup in my apartment. It’s so much more spacious and gets a ton of light — a very relaxing retreat after a hard week. I got a new cushion cover at — of all places — the new video store down the street. They sell market-type stuff like hats and bags, too, which is weird but fun. I got a very cool scarf for $7.

The best and weirdest surprise of the week was receiving a package from Sherry that she sent on 17 November. It only arrived in Australia on 4 April yet was sent via airmail. It was like opening a time capsule because the contents and accompanying letter were appropriate to what was happening at the time, and I’m in such a different place now. Very emotional stuff.

I’m meeting up with someone for coffee tomorrow night, I’ve got a birthday dinner party on Wednesday and going-away drinks on Saturday. How am I supposed to sleep or clean my apartment if people keep inviting me to do things? Yeeeeargh.

Bird rock, Jan Juc beach (taken November 2004)

 
After a rather fabulous week, I had a rather fabulous date on Friday with the fellow who asked for my phone number last weekend. We met up for coffee and somehow didn’t manage to say goodbye until six hours later. (How did that happen?) Bonus: He was even cuter than I remembered. In many ways, it was the opposite of the date I had had two weeks prior. What a pleasant surprise.

Another nice surprise: I actually enjoyed the modelling job on Friday. The makeup, clothes and location looked great, everyone was easy to get along with, and the pictures are going to be huge when published (ay-eee!). I was told it will be out in the next two to three weeks; I’ll have to get up early the next few Sundays to make sure I get enough copies.

I would love to meet the person who designed this image

 
I kidnapped Kylie and headed to Jan Juc, my favourite beach, on Saturday. One of my favourite things about Jan Juc is the pink seaweed (I’ve spotted at least three different varieties of the pink-coloured seaweed alone), and I had collected some in early November to remind me of happier times. The jar has been sitting near my kitchen sink since then, and I’ve been too scared to open it for fear of the smell. I didn’t know where to dump the contents, either, so I figured I might as well return them to their point of origin, with a 32-degree Saturday being the perfect excuse. It was symbolic, too, because I feel so much stronger now and am in a much better place. I feel genuinely happy and proud of how far I’ve come and how much I’ve learned.

——

On Sunday I bought myself some lovely native flowers. I’ve really been enjoying having fresh flowers in the apartment. The woman at the register asked me who I was buying them for, and I replied, “For myself, because I love me.”

She said, “Next time I buy you flowers because you so pretty.” I thanked her, and she added, “You want to go for coffee with me some time?” with a knowing smile. I didn’t answer, and she said, “No, I’m serious.” My mojo must really be working overtime.

——

I officially started my new job today. It was a pretty chaotic day in terms of everything going wrong, but I still had fun. And I really enjoyed the drive out to Woop Woop, where I’ll be working once a week. The only downside of working in such a rural area, of course, is that the only takeaway [take out] choices are Maccas [McDonald’s] and Hungry Jacks [Burger King]. Remind me not to order the large fries next time, no matter how good they sound.